


Fix Me

by supergirlshero



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Kara is a puppy so there's a puppy, Minor Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-03 04:47:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlshero/pseuds/supergirlshero
Summary: Kara Kent's life was finally falling into place, she had great friends and an amazing job. However, there was one area in her life that was falling apart. As for Alex Danvers, she was a recovering trainwreck. When years of striving for perfection had gotten her nothing but her mother's not-so-helpful criticism she turned to alcohol. (I suck at summaries)ORThat time when Kara tripped over a puppy and got a girlfriend.





	1. Tripping Over You

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya friends!  
> This is the first fanfic I've written since I was 12 so please bear with me. I've been thinking of writing this fic for a while but never had the motivation to put my ideas into words. Luckily, I have a lovely co-writer to help me out along the way! Go follow her on tumblr @karmy4life (she's not on ao3). Always feel free to leave comments & suggestions!

Kara was forcefully pulled out of her sleep by the sound of her alarm clock blaring in her sensitive Kryptonian ears. Bending over to stop the horrid sound she slammed her fist down on the alarm clock temporarily forgetting her super strength, but noticing a completely different sensation. Kara looked down at herself and gulped. She was naked? She couldn’t remember being completely naked last night, and she certainly couldn’t explain falling asleep pantiless. She frantically looked around for any possible clues as to what might’ve happened the night before. A jolt of pain shot through her body. She lowered herself back down and let out a soft “oof” as her head hit the pillow again. Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe she was still asleep. But as soon as she heard the pattern of footsteps that were unmistakably Mon El’s she froze for a moment. Using her super speed she locked the bedroom door and grabbed a pair of fresh pajamas from the bedside dresser. Making herself scarce she entered the master bathroom. It was the only place in the apartment she could guarantee herself space from Mon-El. Taking a step away from the door she used her x-ray vision only to see an angry Mon-El. Slowly remembering the events that occurred the previous night she covered her mouth withholding a gasp. Kara squeezed her eyes shut trying to keep her unshed tears at bay. She felt like vomiting as unbidden memories of last night were rushing to the front of her mind. She stepped into the shower letting the scorching hot water trail down her body. Kara scrubbed every inch of her body until it was an angry red, desperate to get the feeling of Mon-El’s touch off of her. 

-

Alex slowly woke up to a puppy licking her face. She chuckled for a minute before lifting Marley a bit so that their faces were even with each other. “Well, good morning little girl. Are you hungry?” The pup wagged her tail and let out a high pitched “woof” in response. “Okay let’s go get you some food then.” Alex carefully placed Marley on the floor and walked over to the kitchen. After pouring the black and tan ball of fur a bowl of kibble, Alex checked the calendar on her fridge (it was an essential part of her daily routine that helped her stay organized). She frowned realizing that she had an AA meeting today. She was doing a lot better than she had been months ago. It had been almost two whole months since she had any alcohol and almost four since she drank to the point of passing out. All in all, Alex was proud of her progress. She had to admit, taking her sponsor’s advice and getting a pet really was helping.

At first, she thought she'd be overwhelmed trying to keep herself together and take care of another living being, but it really wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. Knowing that Marley was almost completely dependent on her gave her a reason not to drink; after all, she couldn't take care of Marley if she was passed out on the couch. 

When Marley was done with her kibble she walked over to the couch where Alex was eating her double stacked pancakes. She nudged Alex’s foot with her nose until she got the brunette’s attention. The puppy tilted her head to the right and let out a tiny cry. Alex eyed the German Shepherd skeptically before giving her a small piece of pancake. “We really shouldn't be making a habit out of this. Huh?” In response, Marley happily wagged her tail and Alex sighed knowing that she'd never be able to eat her pancakes in peace ever again. 

After breakfast, Alex changed out of her pajamas and into her black guns and roses tee shirt and a pair of acid washed denim jeans. She checked Marley’s water bowl and headed off to her AA meeting.

-

Alex walked through the door of her apartment after attending an unexpectedly draining aa meeting. She was immediately greeted by Marley barking happily as she jumped, her big paws landing Alex’s knee. The brunette smiled and took off her leather jacket before hanging it. She scooped up her happy little puppy as it licked her face. “Did you miss me?” Marley wagged her tail. Alex brought Marley over to the couch and glanced at her watch; it was only 11:30. She picked up the remote and caught up on the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Marley curled up on Alex’s lap and fell asleep resting her tiny head on Alex’s stomach. 

After her much needed nap, Marley was back to bouncing around the apartment; looking for something to chew and settling for one of Alex’s sneakers. “Marley! No!” Alex spent the better half of the next 15 minutes chasing Marley around the coffee table. After the pup dropped her shoe (Marley only surrendered the shoe after tripping over her own paws) she was already looking for something else to chew on. “Nope! Not again!” Alex swooped up the puppy who was already barking in discontentment. “Let’s go for a walk!” Marley perked up and started wagging her tail rapidly. Alex quickly got her jacket, still holding Marley with one arm against her chest and left the apartment she would much rather walk than have her whole apartment become a chew toy.

 

-

Kara flew in through her window after x-raying her apartment to make sure Mon El had left. She would never forget the night before. She prays to Rao she’ll have space tonight. She just stopped four robberies and two fires. Too afraid to go back home Kara decided to go for a walk in National City. She closed her eyes as she stopped in the middle of the of the park. She could hear the sound of children running around, laughing and the birds chirping. The gentle breeze felt relaxing blowing through her blonde locks. The fresh air calmed her and she smiled, almost forgetting about the recent terrible events she had been through. Kara began to walk through the park. She felt a dull ache in her body, but the warm sun was helping her recharge. She smiled at the four-year-old that she saved a few weeks ago. She remembers every victim that she saves and every criminal that she stops. Her photographic memory comes in handy most of the time. Kara was pulled out of her thoughts when she tripped over something. She quickly pulled herself together, making sure she controlled her strength. She fell on her face letting out a soft grunt. The small yelp behind her made her eyes widen in the realization of what just happened. Kara quickly sat up and turned around. Her heart dropped when she saw a German Shepard puppy on it’s four tiny legs with its head tilted sideways at her obviously confused. Her eyes started filling with tears as she thought about Mon El’s words from last night. Kara remembers him calling her a selfish bitch, and was starting to believe that he was right. If she had been paying attention then she wouldn’t have tripped over the innocent puppy who was just trying to enjoy her afternoon in the park. Tears ran down Kara’s face as she used her x-ray vision to check the puppy for any injuries. After making sure the puppy was okay, she buried her face in her hands, repeatedly apologizing to the small animal sitting in front of her. She sat there humiliated over her own clumsiness. Kara looked up and saw someone running up to where she and the puppy were sitting. “Marley! Are you alright?”. Kara froze, the owner of the puppy was absolutely gorgeous. The other woman had short brown hair that framed her face perfectly. Rao was she kicking herself now. Hurting a puppy and embarrassing herself in front of an attractive woman all in one day.


	2. Ice cream, Insecurities, and a Matchmaker Named Marley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Y'all sorry it's been forever. Depression can kick ass. I really want to post more for you guys. Thanks to my favorite @Melanie122802 for keeping me motivated! I love you Mel <3\. Hope you all enjoy.

Kara pushed aside her thoughts quickly as the owner of the puppy’s face contorted in anger. “Hey son of a bitch, watch where you’re going!” Alex said angrily to the clumsy blonde who was still on the ground. She scooped Marley up and checked her for any injuries. She turned back around to face the woman who had just tripped over her dog and prepared to exchange a few more choice words. Alex, however, was stopped in her tracks when she saw the blonde crying. Marley let out an annoyed growl, desperate to get out of Alex’s hold. 

She put the puppy back on the ground, and it immediately ran over to Kara’s side. “I'm so sorry. I- I didn't see her. I was distracted. I never meant to hurt her”. Alex looked down at Marley skeptically and then back over to Kara. “Hey, no, stop it’s fine. I’m sorry for blowing up at you. I just worry about her.” Alex said sitting down next to where Kara was. She looked at the puppy who was now laying on her back. Kara nodded and wiped her eyes. Marley let out a frustrated “woof”.

“I think she wants you to give her some attention.” Kara let out a soft, humorless, chuckle, and looked at the puppy next to her. “I think I've bothered her enough. I should get going. I'm sorry for everything.” The second Kara made an effort to leave Marley let out a series of loud cries, running in front of her desperate to keep the blonde from leaving. Alex frowned “Aww come on look at her, does she look bothered by you?”

Kara shook her head and looked down at Marley who was now sitting on top of her feet. She bent down to pet the little German Shepard, feeling relieved when the pup leaned into her touch. “I think she forgives you. Don'tcha puppy?” Kara scratched behind the puppy’s ear making her tail waggle. She turned and licked Kara’s hand. Kara let out a soft giggle and glanced up at the woman standing in front of her. 

When the woman smiled at her Kara felt herself blushing, she bit her lip and looked back down at the little German shepherd. “I’m sorry for stepping on you…?” She looked up at Alex expectantly. Alex understood and answered with a smile. “Her name is Marley.”

 

Kara grinned as she turned back to face the dog. “That’s a cute name you got, Marley.” The pup let out a woof and licked her again. “Do you mind telling me your name?” Kara asked the woman standing in front of her hopefully. Alex smiled and Kara felt herself blushing again. They stood up as Marley circled Kara’s feet.

“I’m Alex, Alex Danvers” Alex said sticking out her hand. Kara grinned at the name. “I’m Kara, Kara Kent” Kara said as she shook Alex’s hand. Kara felt a ping of energy rush through her and she wondered if the other woman felt it too. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Kara,” Alex said letting go of Kara’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. Wanna grab some ice cream?”

 

Alex scratched the back of her neck, “Uhm, I don’t know. Maybe next time?” Kara tried to hide the disappointment on her face but failed “Okay. Have a nice day Alex.”

As Kara approached the ice cream cart she noticed a small tug on her shoe laces. She looked down and smiled at what she was greeted with. “Hi, Marley!” Kara picked up the puppy gently and brought her up to eye level, “Where’s Alex?” 

Alex ran over to where Kara and the pup were standing with an uncomfortable smile on her face. Kara frowned in response, “I’m sorry. I guess this little one had other plans, huh?”. Marley let out a small “woof” in response. “It’s okay, really don’t worry about it. Ice cream on me?”

Kara shrieked, “Absolutely not! Not after I tripped over your dog!” Alex chuckled, “Okay fine, ice cream is on me next time.” 

“There's going to be a next time?”

“I mean as long as you want there to be a next time,” Alex said with a slight blush covering her face.

“Of course I want there to be a next time!” Kara said a little too eagerly. Alex didn't mind though she found the clumsy blonde interesting and wanted to get to know her better.

The pair sat down on a nearby bench eating their ice cream while Marley stared up at them hoping to get a lick of their ice cream. Kara had two scoops of vanilla and Alex had a scoop of chocolate. 

Kara looked at the begging puppy and back up at Alex. “Can I give her some?” Alex rolled her eyes playfully, “You better not get used to this missy”. Marley wagged her tail and jumped onto Kara’s lap stealing a few licks of ice cream. Kara smiled at the happy pup who had now claimed at least a quarter of her ice cream. 

When Marley was done she plopped down on Kara’s lap resting her small head against Kara’s belly. Alex looked down at Marley and laughed. “I think she likes you more than she likes me”. Kara laughed, “I doubt it she loves you.”

“I guess,” Alex said nonchalantly licking her ice cream.

“I’m sure she does. You’re amazing. I tripped over your dog and you didn’t even hurt me for doing it.”

Alex cocked her head to the side at that odd statement but decided to let it go and carry on with their conversation.

“So… Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Yeah...uhm we live together actually. It’s okay for the most part. He’s gone most of the time so that’s good… I mean bad. That’s bad right? I’m a horrible girlfriend. Who says that anyways? You know what? Never mind. What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

Alex chuckled, “No, I haven’t had a boyfriend since the 7th grade. I’m gay, but I don’t have a girlfriend either.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I mean not that you don’t have a girlfriend but you know… nevermind I should shut up.”

Alex put her hand gently on Kara’s arm, “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m not offended.”  
Kara jerked away, flinching at Alex’s touch. The brunette looked at Kara with genuine concern while she just concentrated on Marley’s breathing.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you didn’t like to be touched. It’s okay. I promise I won’t do it again unless you want me to. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Kara started looking at her shoelaces trying to stop herself from crying in front of the beautiful stranger she had just met again.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind being touched. Really I’m just overreacting. It’s stupid. It doesn’t matter.”

Alex wanted her to go on but Kara shut herself down again and didn’t say anything else until she finished her ice cream.

“It was nice meeting you, Alex!” Marley let out an annoyed ‘woof’ and Kara laughed, “You too Marley!”

Kara started to walk away and Marley let out a series of whimpers.

“Wait! Kara hang on. I forgot to give you my phone number, and I really don’t think this one is   
going to leave without me giving it to you.”

Alex jotted down her phone number on an empty gum wrapper, “There you go! Don’t be afraid to use it we don’t bite” Marley as if right on cue started nibbling on Alex’s wrist. “Well, I don’t bite.”

And with that Alex shot Kara a wink, and Kara smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the second chapter! Hopefully I'll be posting more frequently. Sorry for the wait.


	3. Introducing & Invites ft General Lane and Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's here to save the day, but not before Alex can?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, geez has it really been 5 months? Sorry. Things have been crazy hectic and my grandma passed away two months ago and I've been struggling with that and school is a BITCH this year wtf I can barely keep my grades up with a lot of effort on my part and last year I barely tried and got nearly straight A's wtf. Anyways you have the lovely @melanie122802 to thank for most of this chapter.

Alex Danvers: Good morning! How did you sleep last night?

Kara Kent: Fine. How about you?

Alex Danvers: Not great. Your buddy kept waking me up because she had to go potty.

Kara Kent: Aww poor pup :(

Alex Danvers: Poor pup?! More like poor Alex! Ugh this little girl is a handful.   
*insert IMG_203*

Kara Kent: OH MY GOSH! She’s so cute! I’m in love!

Alex Danvers: You're welcome to dog sit any time.

\-----  
Kara was sitting on the couch and looked up from her phone to see a very angry MonEl standing in front of her.

“Why haven't you been answering your phone?! You can't even bother answering your damn phone. I swear to Rao, Kara you are so useless!”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Kara pulled her knees to her chest and stared at the ground with a frown glued to her face.

“Who the hell were you talking to anyways? Let me see your phone.”  
Kara reluctantly handed MonEl her phone, “Here”.

MonEl went through some of her latest texts and started laughing as he scrolled through Alex’s text messages.

“What’s so funny?”

“This girl, Alex, she looks like such a stupid dyke.”

“She’s not stupid! You are!” 

After realizing what she said Kara quickly snatched her phone away from MonEl and flew out the window, landing in an abandoned alley to change out of her Supergirl outfit. From there she walked to the park and decided to call Lucy.

Lucy could tell something was wrong by the tone of Kara's voice. The normally bubbly blonde was quiet and closed off.

After a few minutes of rambling Lucy cut Kara off, “What's wrong?”.

“Nothing.”

“Come on Kar, I know you. You're never this quiet what's going on.”

Lucy could hear Kara crying on the other end of the phone, “Kara, what's wrong? Tell me.”

“I-It's MonEl. I can't take him anymore. He just yells at me all the time and there's more than that but I don't wanna talk about it right now.”

“Okay. Do you want me to come over there this weekend? Maybe you could stay with me for awhile?”

“Sure.” As soon as Kara said that she spotted Alex and Marley walking into the park. “I gotta go Luce. Talk to you later.”

Immediately Kara looked for an escape but quickly realized that she couldn't just fly away- not with this many people around- from her problem.

Kara tried to wipe away all of her tears as Marley bolted towards her before Alex could tell she was crying but failed. Marley jumped onto Kara's lap and Alex sat beside her on the wooden park bench.

“Hey Kara!....Hey what's wrong?” Alex gently pulled her into a friendly hug. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” After Alex let go of Kara, Marley jumped up, putting her front paws on Kara’s collarbones so that she could kiss her face. 

Kara and Alex sat in silence with Marley curled up in between them. Alex awkwardly rubbed Kara’s back for awhile while Marley continued to give Kara kisses.

“What's going on? Are you okay? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just thought maybe I could help. I know we've only known each other for a few weeks but I still consider you my friend and I wanna help you.” Alex rambled on making a fool of herself. However, Kara was too focused on what was going on with Mon El to notice. 

“Just boyfriend drama. It’s nothing really.” Kara wiped her tears with the back of her hand. 

“Okay. Well, I’m here for you if you need anything.” Alex grabbed Kara’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.” Kara looked up at Alex, who had a sympathetic smile on her face. Kara felt her cheeks begin to flush and looked away again.

“How about you sleepover at my place tonight?” Alex almost immediately regretted the offer as soon as she had said it. She really liked Kara and was worried that something would go wrong. She wanted the first time Kara came over to be perfect, but now she had invited Kara to sleep over and she couldn’t remember if she still had her dirty underwear on the floor.

“I don’t know. You’ve probably got better things to do.” 

“That’s not true, and even if it were I’d still want to do this for you. It could be fun. We could order pizza, and watch movies, and then when your buddy wakes up at 3 in the morning to go to the bathroom you can take her out.”

The last part earned a chuckle from Kara. “Okay, but only if you really want me to.”

Alex smiled, “I do, and I think someone else does too.” Marley wagged her tail in response.

\----  
Kara said goodbye to Alex and flew back to the apartment to get her car. She only used it for getting to and from Catco, but she thought it would be too weird if she walked to Alex’s apartment so she drove. It helped that she had a bag of clothes already in the trunk for her to wear. The last time she fought with Mon-El she had decided to pack a bag of clothes incase it wasn’t safe for her to go back home after a couple of hours.

Kara was nervous the whole ride there. She was afraid she’d say something wrong or annoy Alex. She was afraid that Alex wouldn’t like her anymore after spending more than just a few hours with her. She pulled into the parking garage and sat there for a few minutes trying to calm herself down. After she collected herself she got out of her car and made her way to Alex’s apartment. 

“Hey Kara!” Alex guided into Kara into her loft-style apartment, while trying to hold Marley back so that she couldn't run out the door. 

“Hey!” Kara fidgeted nervously with her glasses. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about how beautiful Alex looked. Her bangs were pulled back from her face, being held by her glasses that were resting on top of her head. Alex had changed into a simple gray cotton t-shirt and a pair of black sweat pants. Kara had never seen the brunette so relaxed.

Marley quickly pulled Kara out of her thoughts by chewing on her shoe laces. “Hey you!” Kara picked Marley up and brought her up to eye level. “I missed you!” Marley licked Kara’s cheek.

\---  
When Kara and Alex were finished eating Alex couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable Kara looked sitting at the opposite end of the couch playing with her hands nervously.

“C’mere. It's okay I don't bite, you should know that by now.” 

Kara happily scooted over to get closer to Alex. Alex wrapped her arm nonchalantly around Kara. After a few moments of awkwardness the blonde let herself relax into her friend’s hold. It was comfortable and if she was being honest with herself she felt more comfortable with Alex than she ever did with Mon-el. Everything was too much. She felt useless at work, and useless at home. She was useless according to Mon-el. Everything was her fault. He always made her feel small and incompetent. Everything she did was a mistake according to him. Maybe he wasn’t wrong.

Kara didn’t notice that she was crying until Alex began wiping her her tears away. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I should leave. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“It's fine. Really, I just went through a pretty shitty breakup myself.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.”

“Don't be. It's not your fault, it wasn't the best relationship anyways. At least we have something in common.”

Kara looked down, nervously. “Oh, uh, we actually haven’t broken up.” 

Alex frowned, clearly confused. “Oh, but you seem pretty devastated. Was there an argument?”

Kara shook her head, sadly. “Y-yeah, but it was all my fault. I was being stupid.” 

“I seriously doubt that. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but you don’t seem as terrible as you make yourself out to be.”

Kara laughed sadly, “Well I am.”

Alex furrowed her eyebrows with a frown, “Have you always been like this?”

Kara looked up, “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Self defeating? Insecure?”

Kara looked away trying to hide the pain in her eyes. “Yeah, I guess?”

Alex’s frown deepened. She worried about Kara, the girl she had come to known as a best friend. It hurt to know that Kara has always been this self-conscious.

Kara perceived this silence as Alex judging her. “I know, it’s stupid. I think I’m gonna go.”

Kara began to get off the couch and walk towards the door. Alex snapped out of her thoughts, quickly jumping off the couch and grabbing Kara’s wrist. “Wait, no!”

Kara flinched, quickly pulling away from her grip and stumbling away. Alex’s eyes widened, immediately apologizing, “I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I was just stuck in my own thoughts.”

 

Kara frowned, “Were you judging me?”

Alex quickly shook her head, “N-no! It just hurts me to see you like this. You’re my best friend and I worry about you.”

Kara felt a tug at her heart at the word best friend, but she shrugged it off like all the other feelings she’s been having since she met Alex after tripping over Marley. 

“I’m sorry.”

Alex frowned, “There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m here for you.”

Somehow even with her reassuring words Kara couldn’t help but think that one of these days, Alex would figure her out and eventually leave her. 

“Really? I wouldn’t be surprised if you left me.” 

Alex’s frown deepened and Kara found herself feeling even more guilty for causing it. 

Alex gestured to Kara’s wrist,“Can I?”

Kara nodded. Alex gently wrapped her fingers around Kara’s wrist and started pulling her back to the couch to sit down. “Don’t say that. I’m here for as long as you’ll let me.” 

Kara stayed quiet, but eventually nodded. 

Alex continued to hold Kara’s hand while rubbing circles on it with her thumb. Kara’s chest warmed up a bit at the gesture. Alex’s hands were warm unlike Mon El’s rough ones that did nothing but hurt her. 

Alex waved the hand that wasn’t occupied in front of Kara’s face. “You there?”

Kara jumped a bit and blushed. “Y-yeah, sorry. I was thinking…”

Alex grinned, “A penny for your thoughts?” 

Kara shook her head quickly, trying not to blush anymore, “N-no, it’s nothing, really.” 

Alex’s grin widened, “Oh, what’s got you all red?” 

Kara shook her head even quicker, blushing more, making Alex think that she would get whiplash. “N-nothing, stop it.”

Alex threw her head back, letting go of Kara’s hand as she laughed out loud and Kara decided then and there that- that was her favorite sound in the whole wide world. Kara didn’t even care that she probably looked like a tomato, she was too busy adoring every feature on Alex’s face. 

Alex finally stopped laughing, finding Kara staring at her. “What?” 

Without thinking, Kara replied with a sweet smile, “Your laugh is cute.” 

Kara’s eyes widened when she realized what she said and before Alex could respond, Marley ran out of Alex’s room, haven woken up from her nap. Marley pawed on Kara’s legs and the blushing blonde bent down, picking her up. She then placed her on her lap which resulted in Marley getting on her hind small legs and licking Kara in the face. 

“Marley! You’re a little mischievous pup aren’t you?” 

Alex shook off the shock as she chuckled at Marley’s antics. “You’ll get used to it.”

Kara laughed, letting Marley lick her face, “I don’t mind, puppies are my weakness.”

“It’s okay. I’m pretty sure even supergirl can’t resist a pup this cute.” 

Kara snorted, “Of course she can’t. Marley is adorable.” 

‘Just like you’ Kara thought, but decided not to blurt this out. At least she had some self control left. 

Once Marley relaxed on Kara’s lap, Alex asked, “Have you’ve ever had a pet?” 

Kara shook her head sadly, “No, my apartment doesn’t allow pets and I can barely take care of myself.”

“Hey, don’t say that. I’m sure you can take care of yourself and I bet your boyfriend thinks that also.”

If only she knew Mon El hates her guts. He might still be with her, but when he is there, he’s either touching her, hurting her, or making fun her. Kara bit her lip, trying to keep her tears at bay. If she cries then she’s weak. The only thing Kara’s ever been good at was being strong and without that she has nothing. If she gives up her strength then she is just as horrible as Mon El says she is.


	4. Accidental Cuddles and Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait again. I suck at updating. I hope this chapter makes up for that. I'll probably also be posting a one-shot series for femslash february.

Kara sighed happily as she snuggled closer to the person that she had her arm wrapped around. Wait, person?! Her eyes snapped open and she soon realized who the comfy person was. Alex was sleeping with her back towards Kara and she noticed how close together they were. She was internally panicking as she rolled over but went too far and hit the ground. She quickly picked herself up off the ground and went to check if she had woken up the sleeping beauty. Luckily she hadn’t, but she was still freaking out. She ran out of the room as quietly as she could, almost tripping over her own feet. She could feel her heartbeat speed up as if it was going to burst out her chest. Her hands were shaking and she felt her throat close up and she couldn’t bear her own weight anymore and fell on all fours trying to catch her breath. 

Why did she have to be so stupid? She should have slept on the couch like she planned to. She wondered if Alex noticed then freaked out before her and stayed just because she pitied Kara. She needed to get out of this panic attack before she passes out or else Alex will find her this way and she could not let that happen. She looked around with a blurry vision as she tried to find five things she could see. Alex’s leftover beer from last night on the coffee table, her own discarded converse by the door, Alex’s jacket thrown over the couch, the morning sun shining through the window, and her glasses on the floor where she had dropped them. She then tried to find four things she could feel as her vision got better. Alex’s soft couch, her own hair, the slight cracks on the floor, and her old college sweatshirt.

She could feel her breathing get better, but she knew that it wasn’t enough to calm the trembling of her body. She tried to find three things she could hear. The busy streets outside, Marley’s sniffles as she sleeps, and Alex’s small snores. She quickly then tried to find two things she could smell. Marley’s puppy smell while sleeping and Alex who smelled like sweet peppermint. Her eyes were closed as she felt the trembles slightly stop. Her last step was to find something she could taste and she felt her trembles stop as she tasted her saliva which wasn’t bad because of her Kryptonian genes. She finally took deep breaths as she sat against the bottom of the couch with her eyes open. How could she let this happen? She’s supposed to keep herself under control. Especially around Alex. She was caught off guard when she woke up. How was she supposed to know that she was big spooning Alex as they both slept?! 

Kara got off the floor with unsteady feet and pulled her golden locks into a ponytail. She decided that as an apology for last night and a thanks for letting her stay, she was gonna cook Alex some breakfast. She walked over to Alex’s kitchen, taking a deep breath to try and rid herself from that overwhelming panic attack before opening the fridge as she took out the ingredients in order to make the beauty in bed breakfast. 

\---  
Alex rubbed her eyes as she rolled over in bed. She frowned when she felt the coldness on the other side of the bed. ‘Where’s Kara?’ She thought as she sat up and stretched her arms while yawning. 

She slipped out from under the covers and walked over to the door. She looked down at the backpack Kara brought with her next to the door and wondered why it looked like Kara had this backpack prepared even before they met. ‘Maybe Kara is just well prepared.’ She thought and shook her head before exiting her room.

Upon entering the kitchen she was greeted with the sight of Kara stressfully making breakfast.

“Hey, Good morning! Did you sleep well last night?”

“Yeah. I slept fine. Why do you ask?”

“You must’ve gotten up really early. Your side of the bed was already cold when I woke up.”

“Oh,” Kara responded wondering if Alex had realized that she was unknowingly spooning her as she slept. ‘Or maybe she heard me having a panic attack and ignored me’ She thought while cracking eggs. 

Alex sat on one of the stools next to the small breakfast bar in her apartment and watched Kara make breakfast. She had to admit, it felt kind of nice to fall asleep next to someone who didn’t leave before the sun rose. After countless, meaningless, hookups Alex finally found someone she actually liked for more than just sex. She shook her head slightly at her own thoughts. Kara was a friend, Kara was straight. Hell, she barely knew Kara. Frustrated she pulled out her phone and began to scroll through Instagram. She was shocked by what she had seen, there was a picture of her sponsor and a few of her friends and they were all drinking. The picture wouldn’t have been concerning if her sponsor wasn’t in it. It was a typical party picture, the type she was used to seeing but it had her sponsor in it. Alex could practically feel her blood boil at the thought of her sponsor doing something so stupid, doing something that she had yelled at Alex for doing in the past. Looking at that picture made her feel not only hurt but betrayed. So much so that by the time Kara was done cooking breakfast she was so mad she was in tears.

Kara put down Alex’s plate in front of her and was horrified when she looked up and saw Alex crying. She rushed over to the other side of the counter and wrapped her arms around Alex, without considering the consequences. “What’s the matter?” Alex leaned into Kara for a brief moment before wiggling out of her hold all together. “I’m sorry I can’t talk about it. Especially not to you.”

When Alex saw the hurt expression on Kara’s face, she instantly regretted what she said and grabbed Kara’s hand giving it a gentle rub. “It has nothing to do with you. I’m just not ready to talk to you about that part of my life yet. I promise you haven’t done anything wrong, okay?” Kara nodded and Alex continued rubbing Kara’s hand absentmindedly before stopping to eat her breakfast.

The pair finished their breakfast in comfortable silence and went on to watch tv in the living room. Kara sat next to Alex with Marley sitting on her lap. After binge-watching 6 episodes of The Office Marley started getting antsy and begged the two to take her for a walk. Kara was more than happy to comply. Alex, on the other hand, was still upset from earlier and opted to stay home while Kara walked Marley.

Kara picked Marley up off the ground and got her ready to go. She waved goodbye to Alex and promised to be back as soon as Marley would allow them too. Once they left Alex let out a sigh of relief. It was safe for her to finally break down without worrying about what Kara would think of her. She rushed over to the fridge to see if there was any beer she had possibly forgotten to throw out back when she was trying to stay sober. Luckily, or unluckily for her there was one can of beer left. She drank it quicker than she would have liked to admit. She debated making a quick run to the liquor store and picking up the strongest drink she could find but she didn’t know when Kara would be back from her walk and she wanted Kara to feel safe at her apartment because she knew Kara didn’t feel safe in her own apartment. 

Meanwhile, Kara was enjoying her walk with Marley. Most of Kara’s insecurities from this morning had faded thanks to Marley. When Kara felt herself getting lost in her own thoughts she drifted her thoughts toward the pup and whatever silly thing she was doing at the moment. Even though spending time with Marley had made her feel better she was still worried about Alex. They had gotten closer over the last few weeks but parts of their lives were still a mystery to one another.  
Kara and Marley were on the final stretch of their walk when Marley’s little legs had given out and she demanded via barking that Kara carry her back home. As soon as they had arrived home both Kara and Marley knew something was wrong. When they walked through the door Alex didn’t even acknowledge them. Marley ran over to Alex as fast as her little legs would carry her and Kara followed behind her. 

“Are you okay?” Kara asked. She didn’t want push but she needed to know if Alex was okay. 

“I’m fine” Alex responded, but even she could hear the emotion bubble up in her voice. She looked down at the puppy in her lap and felt sad. The only reason she got Marley because her sponsor told her getting a pet would help her feel more responsible. Kara noticed the anguished look on Alex’s face and wrapped her arm around her. “How can I help? What can I do?”

Alex buried her face into Kara’s shoulder. “Can you stay the night again? Please?”. Kara tightened her hold on Alex. “Of course I will.”

Kara felt nervous with Alex cuddled up so close to her. She was sure that Alex was only being so cuddly because she was sad but a part of her couldn’t help but wonder if Alex remembered that Kara had cuddled her in her sleep and if she enjoyed it. Kara rubbed Alex’s back gently until she fell asleep, and for the first time since Kara met Mon-El she finally felt happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at our girls getting all cute and cuddly.


	5. I Still Want to be Your Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry long time no post. i’m flakey as usual! but here’s an update! i met the co-writer of this story (melanie122802) 14 months ago and if it weren’t for her this story wouldn’t exist so i thought i’d post an update! also she’s been such a great friend over the last year, i don’t know what i’d do without her!

Alex started softly whimpering in her sleep and this alarmed Kara. Kara didn’t know what to do, part of her wanted to run her fingers and the other part of her knew she had no way of explaining why she was running her fingers through Alex’s hair if she woke up. So instead she just woke Alex up by gently nudging her.

“Hey, you’re having a bad dream wake up. It’s okay.” Kara said softly to the brunette who was still whimpering in her sleep.

Alex rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and realized how she had cuddled up to Kara and panicked. Alex quickly untangled herself out of Kara’s arms and ran into the bathroom. 

“Alex, you okay? What’s wrong.”

However, there was no response from within the bathroom so Kara just sat there waiting patiently for her friend to come out of the bathroom.

When Alex came out of the bathroom she was pissed. She was pissed off at her sponsor and herself and she was even more pissed off that Kara cared about her.

“You need to leave.” Alex told Kara coldly. Kara recognized the coldness in her voice. It was the same coldness Mon-El had in his voice every time he wanted to hurt her.

“Okay” Kara said calmly trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes from Alex. She quickly scrambled to pack all of her stuff up. She didn’t want to get hurt, and she knew that if she took too long packing Alex would hurt her. Or that’s what Kara thought anyways. 

Kara left without saying goodbye because really she didn’t think Alex would even care if she left. Kara knew she was a burden and no matter how much she tried to help people she always made people’s problems. Mon-El always reminded her when she messed up, how horrible she was, how absolutely worthless she was. 

Kara finally made it to her car and started sobbing uncontrollably. She was horrible! Everything good she ever had she ruined! She was clumsy and stupid! Everyone hated her! She hated herself. Kara put in the CD of depressing songs she had sitting in her car. The first song that came on was Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. Kara loved that song. 

“And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am”

Kara sobbed even harder when those lyrics played. She didn’t want the world to see the real her. She just wish she could be Supergirl all the time but she couldn’t. She couldn’t. She was weak. She didn’t matter and everyone knew that. 

She reached over into the glove compartment and pulled out a tiny lead lined case that had a kryptonite knife in it. Kara always kept it on her incase of emergency. And this was an emergency. She needed to not be here. She so desperately wanted to not be here. All she wanted was to join her mom and her dad and the rest of Krypton in the light of Rao. 

Kara dragged the cool blade of the radioactive knife across her skin. She took pleasure in the burning sensation. She wanted to feel the pain. She deserved it. She was a horrible person and she deserved to be hurt. Alex hated her, Mon-El hated her. Everyone else did. Kara was hated. No matter what she did or how many lives she saved it was never enough. Nothing she ever did was good enough, and all Kara wanted was to be good enough. 

Meanwhile back in the apartment Alex was sitting on the couch feeling guilty about how she kicked Kara out. Kara didn’t do anything wrong, she was just worried about Alex. She entertained the idea of calling or texting Kara but figured the last thing the blonde wanted right now was to hear from her. So Alex got up off the couch and grabbed her car keys and headed to the nearest bar. 

At the bar though Alex couldn’t bring herself to drink anything more than a club soda. She wanted so badly to actually drink but she felt guilty just being in a bar so she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

After only an hour Alex decided to leave the bar. On the way back to her apartment she noticed Kara’s car was still in the parking lot. As Alex walked up to the car she noticed that Kara was slumped over the steering wheel and her heart sank. She had caused this. If she wouldn’t have kicked Kara out this wouldn’t have happened. Alex opened the car door and Kara nearly collapsed into Alex’s arms. 

“No, No, No, Kar, please. I’m sorry.” Alex held a barely conscious Kara in her arms. Alex attempted to lift Kara out of the car and by the grace of god succeeded. Kara stirred slightly in Alex’s arms just before Alex could plop Kara down on to the couch.

Alex had noticed the dried blood on Kara’s wrists and got some hydrogen peroxide to clean it up with being careful not to wake Kara up in the process. She moved Kara’s charm bracelet let with a green stone in it to her other arm so that it wouldn’t brush up against her fresh cuts. Once she was done cleaning her up Alex placed a blanket on top of Kara.

“I’m sorry, Kar. I’m so sorry.” Alex whispered to the girl next to her. 

When Kara finally woke up she panicked realizing where she was. She was in Alex’s apartment. She couldn’t be here. Alex had kicked her out last night. Why was she there?!

Alex saw that Kara had woken up and gave her a friendly smile, however it had the opposite effect of what Alex had desired. 

Kara started sobbing and tried to run out of the apartment, but Alex wouldn’t let her. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. You’re okay. Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde girl in front of her.

 

“No it’s not okay!” Kara quickly tried untangling herself from Alex’s arms, but Alex wouldn’t let her.

“Why isn’t it okay?”

“Because, Alex, we just met and I’m a mess. Look at me! You don’t need this in your life.”

“That’s not true. Look I’m sorry I got mad earlier. It had nothing to do with you. I promise.”

Kara looked at her skeptically. 

“C’mere, let me explain what happened.” Alex grabbed Kara’s hand and led her back to the couch. 

“Normally I wouldn’t bring this up, or anything. And maybe after I tell you this you’ll realize I’m the one who’s a mess, and you’ll realize I’m not worth being friends with.”

Kara scoffed, “I doubt it”.

“Kara, I’m an alcoholic, and the reason I was so upset last night was because my sponsor posted a picture of herself and a few of her friends drinking last night and it upset me. I’m not saying that’s an excuse for how I treated you.”

Kara looked down and realized she was still holding Alex’s hand. “It’s okay. I still want to be your friend. It doesn’t scare me.”


End file.
